Alicia Washington : Past & Present
by female fogbank
Summary: A mixture of Alicia Washington's past memories and present moments in her final days in the colony... It's a little AU and has hints of Taylor/Wash.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: So this started as Para and then I got a review from Lt. Alicia Washington (no joke! I did!) so I made a Mini-Cinderella fiction because I had three hours to kill before my flight home. Yay! for airport wifi. Obviously this is a younger Alicia Washington thus she won't be the woman we all know and love in the series.. so expect a little OC-ishness. Please Enjoy! Also if anyone has suggestions that they don't mind sharing please message me or send a review! I will give kudos  
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* * *

**Sometimes I miss the old days...**

Year 2132; VA Puget Sound Hospital, Seattle Dome

Alicia was bored out of her mind, laying in a hospital bed feeling like she had a gut full of broken glass. Her unit had been deployed on war games without her. If that wasn't bad enough, she would have to front up to Commander Taylor eventually and apologise for spewing blood on his boots and passing out into his arms. The whole event was mortifying but in the end her fault as she should have gone to medical days ago when the fever and pain started. But no, she just told herself it was nothing. There was a good reason why people with medical degrees made the worst patients.

And now she was paying for it with a couple weeks of bed rest and pure torture of wondering what nicknames she was going to be tagged with when she was back on full duty and if she would be able to look Taylor in the eyes again.

So when Ayani Taylor showed up at her door during visitor's hours with a large rectangular flat box. Alicia welcomed the distraction.

"Hey Soldier girl. How are you?" Ayani asked in a teasing manner, smiling that infectious smile of hers.

"I'm doing well and yourself?" Alicia asked as she pushed herself up so she was sitting up in the bed.

"doing great" Ayani said.

"How's Lucas?" Alicia asked as she ran a hand through her hair feeling self conscious as Ayani was looking effortlessly beautiful.

"Also going good. Nathaniel told me that you-" Ayani started but Alicia cut her off as a light blush graced her cheeks.

"Yeah, please don't remind me" Alicia chagrined; Ayani gave a laugh that was almost musical in nature as she stepped forward and held the box out to Alicia.

"Ok, well here I brought you something to cheer you up" Ayani said looking to the box with an excited smile.

"You didn't have to-" Alicia started as she didn't want to be shown favouritism.

"Oh I did, this is more for me than you" Ayani said as Alicia took the box from her and placed on the bed in front of her.

"Ok" Alicia said carefully as she lifted the lid slowly off the box and placed it to the side before she lifted the crumpled tissue paper out of the way to reveal a carefully folded up evening gown.

"Oh wow, this must have cost you a bundle" Alicia breathed as she touched the beautifully embroided fabric of the dress with reverence. She had never expected to be gifted something so beautiful from Ayani Taylor and wondered what exactly the woman would get out of giving her something so beautiful.

"Nonsense, I recycled two dresses my sister grew out of and she was going to throw out anyway. So I made something special for you" Ayani told her, Ayani was an expert seamstress and used to be a costume designer before she met Commander Taylor and then she became a full time housewife who was perfect at everything or so Alicia imagined as she had yet to see Ayani put a foot wrong. In fact if she could amalgamate Commander Taylor and Alicia into one being that would be the person she wanted to be. The best of both worlds, in Alicia's opinion. Or perhaps she needed to find a partner who could allow her to be a soldier but also a woman without Alicia feeling like it was a weakness. It seemed like this odd balancing act she had to play.

"And since the Military Ball is next week and I want you to wear it" Ayani told her, Alicia felt the other shoe drop. She looked to Ayani and cringed as she was barely earning the respect of the soldiers around her thanks to her young age and she knew putting on a dress to the Military ball would add fuel to a fire she sure was already brewing. It also had to smack of favouritism as Ayani gave her the dress and she was Taylor's wife.

Ayani narrowed her eyes at Alicia and Alicia knew the woman was going to be stubborn and as she was Alicia's C/O's wife, it put Alicia in a tight spot. Ayani shook her head and waved a finger at her. Alicia learned you should never tick off your commander's wife as it never ended well and she also didn't want to get on Ayani's bad side as she genuinely liked the woman but then she couldn't imagine Ayani having any enemies. Everybody loved her.

They had met at a few previous functions when Alicia had been transferred into Taylor's command. Ayani had been very welcoming and they had chatted several times but only as acquaintances. So recieving such a gift was extremely off putting as it was touching as Alicia didn't believe she deserved it.

"Don't give me that look. I had to listen to all the gory details of how you threw up on my husband's boots and passed out. He thinks you may have aged him about 5 years with that 'moment'. So you're going to wear this dress and I am going to enjoy watching the jaws drop in the room when you show up all dressed to the nines reminding them you're a beautiful woman as well as a kick ass soldier." Ayani told her. Alicia made a face as Ayani made it sound like she was a superhero when she most definitely was not.

"What if it doesn't fit?" Alicia asked.

"I've measured enough women over the years to know their measurements by just looking at them" Ayani continued and rattled off Alicia's measurements. Alicia waved her hands to make Ayani stop and saw the woman was already smug with victory.

"Ok, ok it will fit" Alicia admitted a little mortified being told her own measurements down to bra cup size by Ayani. The woman was scary when she wanted to be.

"I know it will and you'll wear it" Ayani said smugly.

"Fine, I'll wear it. Thank you" Alicia said as she caved to Ayani. She was too tired, too sick to argue and felt it was best to just accept that she was wearing the dress and Ayani was making Alicia her pet project. Ayani smiled.

"You're welcome, I know your father General Washington is escorting you to the Ball. So I was thinking that I could help you with your hair and makeup" Ayani said with a brilliant smile as she reached out and lifted one of the long strands of Alicia's hair and played with it for a moment. Alicia really needed to get a hair cut as it was down to her waist but she just hadn't found the time.

"You don't trust me to do my hair and make up?" Alicia asked in a mocking fashion.

"Not even the slightest. I can't have you sabotaging my fun" Ayani replied innocently and they both laughed as it was true. The only make up she used was a tinted sunscreen and concealer for the odd spot. Otherwise she was baffled by cosmetics and how to use them to 'beautify' herself so she steered clear of them. She'd rather look clean and well kept than have it look like someone shot her in the face with a make up gun set to 'whore'.

"So you want to see the dress?" Ayani asked looking to Alicia. Alicia looked down at the folded dress in the box wondering if she was tempting fate. She was half afraid of the fantasies playing in her mind of wearing a beautiful dress and being a glamourous woman than her usual no nonsense practical look. The idea was scary and interesting rolled into one.


	2. Chapter 2

Ayani could see the young woman's apprehension in recieving the dress and understood it was an exorbinate gift but Ayani couldn't resist. Alicia was the youngest officer in her husband's battalion. Her husband spoke so highly of the lieutenant Ayanin was a little jealous of her but when they had finally met the jealousy was replaced admiration as she could see the woman was reserved and trying hard to the best and all without relying on her beautiful looks and svelte curves. She and Alicia spoke and Alicia had revealed that she had recently transferred and was new to the post which Ayani interpreted as Alicia not having any close friends in the area. Her mother had passed when Alicia was young and when Ayani had talked to her father, she had discovered from the General that she had been a tomboy all of her youth and never had many female friends.

It made sense as to why she wore little to no make up and the clothes she wore that while perfectly acceptable did nothing for her figure or her general image. Something a female friend would have helped her out with as personal presentation was very important in the military whether you wore your uniform or civilian clothing especially if you wanted to climb the ranks and have a long and successful career in the Military. So when the Military ball came up on the schedule Ayani decided it would be her best chance to befriend the young woman and get to know her better. It also gave her an excuse to sew as she loved sewing clothes for other people.

"Here let me lift it out so you can get the whole effect" Ayani said as she stood up from the bed and lifted the dress out of the box. She held the dress up to her body so Alicia could see the dress as if it were on. It had a deep v neckline and white gold- tan coloured belt at the waist (_A/N: look to book cover for picture_). The skirt of the dress graded from light blue to the navy in a richly machine embroidered scribbling of several varieties of blue and silver thread that gave the dress texture and weight of the waist to the floor. It was dramatic but not over top, elegant but still youthful.

"It's stunning" Alicia said taking it all in. She could tell it would have taken hours if not days to make the beautiful dress as she had never seen anything like it in the shops.

"The white will play up your beautiful complexion and the colour for dramatic effect." Ayani said as she held skirt out letting the lights flicker and simmer off the thread sewn into the skirt's material. "Now the neckline is definitely risqué and I contemplated putting in a sexy little mid thigh slit but decided against it for your father's sake." Ayani said with a humorous half roll of the eyes as she knew what it was like to have an over protective father.

"You should wear this dress" Alicia told her. Ayani shook her head at the girl.

"No the colours are all wrong for me and anyway I made this dress for you" Ayani told her.

"I think it would look great on you" Alicia told her as she was pretty sure Ayani could wear a hessian bag and still look beautiful and fashionable. Ayani looked at her with disbelief as she wondered why the girl was looking at the dress like it was a long lost dream made into a reality but still trying to give it back.

"And you're a horrible liar but I appreciate the compliment. But like I said I made this dress for you and you will wear it even if I have to sew you into it while you're asleep and Anyway I have this deep red dress lined up that is all va-va-voom" Ayani said with a smile as she carefully folded up the dress and placed it back into the box.

"End of discussion. So tell me is there anything you want me to bring you anything tomorrow. Food? Clothes from your place?" Ayani asked her as she was not going to let Alicia get away with not wearing the dress.

"I appreciate everything. Really I do but you don't have to come back and visit me I'm sure you have a lot you have to do. I don't want to impose" Alicia said feeling like a rambling idiot as she wasn't used to anyone going out of their way.

Alicia's father was a hard man who believed in working hard and earning what you had, if you wanted something and didn't get it then you didn't work hard enough or you didn't deserve it in the first place. But he had only become that man when she reached 14 and he believed she was old enough to understand that life was hard and that she had to grow up and be an adult.

All through her years of schooling everything had been a competition. From sports to academics, she trained and studied hard, there was no time for socialising and teenage revelling. She had to be the best of best. That sentiment followed her through life, being the best meant you could have the best and you could only be the best if you worked hard. All the mantras her military father drilled into her. Now she was a soldier just like him and people like Ayani Taylor reminded her of what she lacked not only in social graces but in being feminine and feeling beautiful. Something she actually failed at as she didn't know how to fit them into her role as a soldier and the image she wanted to project. She also hated to admit it but there were many hours she dreamed of being like Ayani and women like her.

Strong, beautiful, confident and powerful women who had presence when they walked into a room captivating people and having the respect of those people because they represented the better qualities of a woman and what they were capable of. Alicia on the other hand knew she was working her way to being the woman she wanted to be. But it was hard to imagine that she could or would be like that because while she was an excellent soldier she lacked her own inner power when it came to being off the clock. Socially she was shy, reserved and used to being in the background at social events.

Ayani placed a hand on Alicia's and gave her a kind smile. "Alicia, you need to relax and you're in my husband's command. He and the battalion are off base with your father and you've been ill and had surgery. It can be downright miserable lying in the hospital alone which is why I will be coming back tomorrow whether you want me to or not. So what would you like?" she asked.

"Veggie Juice with vitamin pack shot, the green one" Alicia said, Ayani made a face as she had been expecting her to ask for something delicious and incredibly unhealthy like vanilla sorbet.

"Really? Out of all the things you could have you want something healthy?" Ayani asked her just double checking.

"Yeah" Alicia said with a nod.

"Ok" Ayani said, as a muted tone sounded marking the end of visitors. "I will be here tomorrow with Veggie Juice and I think I should take the dress with me. We have to keep it safe from thieves and saboteurs" Ayani said in an excited manner as she placed the lid on the box.

"Ok, thank you for visiting" Alicia said.

"You're welcome and I'll see you tomorrow" Ayani told her.

"Bye" Alicia said, she watched as Ayani disappeared and once she was gone Alicia laid back onto the bed and sighed pulling the blankets up to her chest. It was going to be a long week before the ball, she of course could only think of what could possibly go wrong but she also couldn't help imagining what it would be like if it was a success and dancing at the ball with a handsome man besides her father.


	3. Chapter 3

"I'm sorry to interrupt but I need help with the Zip" Alicia said to Ayani as she stuck her head outside the door of the guest bedroom of the Taylor house a week later. Ayani who was helping Commander Taylor straighten his tie and collar of his dress uniform, beamed at her husband. Alicia felt a twinge of envy as she wanted what they had. To be half of a loving relationship, it didn't hurt that Ayani and Nathaniel Taylor were a handsome couple.

"I'll be there in one second" Ayani said to Alicia, Taylor who had last seen Alicia in the Infirmary was curious to see what his wife had done to the lieutenant but as soon as he twitched his head in Alicia's direction his wife grabbed his chin and locked eyes with him.

"Ah uh no previews, you have to wait for the General to arrive" Ayani said in a chastising tone to Commander Taylor. She looked over at Alicia and gave a tilt of the head and Alicia disappeared closing the door behind her.

"She's my soldier" Taylor said as a knock sounded at the door. Ayani smiled at him warmly.

"Well I like her, so you are going to have to learn to share her with me. Now go answer the door, it's probably General Washington" Ayani told him as she mockingly tapped the side of his face with her palm like he were a little boy. He caught the palm and placed a gentle kiss on it before he went over to the door.

* * *

Alicia waited nervously in the room as she had tried to pull up the zipper only for it to get stuck. It made her feel like crying because the whole day had been something she had allowed herself to fantasise about when she was lying in bed. How she would get be a woman for once instead of a soldier or a daughter who was a tomboy. She was looking to forward to revealing that side of herself and taking a step closer to the woman she wanted to be. It was why against what she felt was her better judgement handed herself into Ayani's care for the day. She said to the woman to do whatever Ayani felt was necessary as Alicia didn't really have much of clue what to do with herself. Tell her to geared up for battle and Alicia could do it but make herself presentable for Ball? Well let's just say basic training didn't teach that between weapons efficiency and mixed martial arts.

The day had been surprisingly fun even if it was somewhat out of her comfort zone but being in Ayani's presence had helped. The older woman had taken her shopping for some clothes, make up before they had lunch and went to Ayani's hairdresser. And so after hours of primping and preening, they returned to the Taylor residence on base and finished getting ready. She already felt more confident and knowledgeable thanks to Ayani and her friends she had met along the way all of them guiding her on how to make the most of personal presentation outside and inside her military life.

But now, Alicia was in crisis mode over a zipper being stuck and thinking that she must had gotten soft and expanded from her time in the medical centre. She gave a sigh of despair feeling entirely irrational and female.

The door opened and Ayani swanned into the room. She was all good to go as she was dressed in a form fitting deep red bodice dress with a sweetheart neckline and mermaid tail style skirt. It hugged the woman's curves beautifully. She looked like a 1950's glamour star as her hair was styled in loose sensual curls to the left side of her face and she wore red lip stick and had cat eye style makeup. She was just gorgeous and Alicia who had avoided every reflectable surface she could in the last 24 hours knew she was not even going to rank close to Ayani.

"Ok, let's get you zipped up. Turn around" Ayani told her.

"I think I might have put on weight" Alicia said taking the blame for when it became apparent that the dress wouldn't fit.

"Nonsense" Ayani told her as she closed the hook and eye at the base of Alicia's neck and then pulled the dress down into the places it was supposed to fit and then zipped the dress up with ease. "There we go, told you it fits. Now turn around" Ayani ordered her.

Alicia did so and Ayani smiled at her so brightly before she stepped back and placed her hand over her mouth just looking Alicia over.

"You're gorgeous, I can't wait for you to bowl everyone over" Ayani told her.

"Really?" Alicia asked in a scepitical as she looked down and smoothed the fabric feeling completely out of element for the 100th time that day. Ayani went to the wardrobe and opened the door to reveal a body length mirror on the inside.

"Look for yourself" Ayani told her, Alicia moved to the mirror and found herself shocked by the reflection that greeted her. Her long hair was elegantly swept back into a loosely styled chignon and her makeup was light and natural to accentuate her eyes and cheekbones, her lips were painted in a natural peachy pink. The dress hugged her torso and bust while the deep neck gave a tantalising view of bare skin and a tasteful cleavage before it fanned from the waist into a loose shirt, it gave her figure a lovely hour glass effect. The colours also made her look tanned as they contrasted against her pale olive complexion. She felt beautiful, not that she didn't feel beautiful before but right now she felt like she was glowingly beautiful and just incredibly special almost like she were Cinderella.

"Thank you for this" Alicia said sincerely to Ayani.

"Please I should be thanking you. I haven't had a girl's day out in a long time. It was fun" Ayani said to her.

* * *

"The assessments are coming in now. It looks like we will have to-" General Washington stopped talking as the door to guest bedroom opened. He didn't like to talk shop in front military spouses; as that was usually how rumours started on the base. Not that he didn't trust Mrs Taylor but he felt it best to treat everyone the same.

Taylor turned with him and they watched as Ayani came out of the room with a smile and twinkle in her knew his wife had taken his young lieutenant under her wing, and he appreciated Ayani for doing so as Lieutenant Washington was an excellent soldier but she was still rough around the edges. While he could help Alicia with her career and keep her alive if they went into battle he could not teach her the social etiquettes and grooming when off duty at social functions especially for a woman to who wanted a long term career with the military. But Ayani could.

"Gentlemen, may I present Lieutenant Alicia Washington" she said she stood to the side an gestured to the door.

A second later, Alicia stepped out of the room. Taylor and General Washington stood still as the sight before them was a definite contrast from the woman they saw everyday. General Washington could have sworn his wife, Alicia's mother had stepped out of the room. It took him a moment to collect himself as it was the first time in years he had seen Alicia in a dress but then she had been just a girl. Today before him was a woman. A beautiful young woman. He placed the glass of scotch he had been drinking onto the coffee table and stepped towards his daughter.

"Alicia, you look beautiful. Just like your mother" He told her in a reverent tone as he took her hands in his and smiled at her. Alicia beamed at the compliment and her father's approval as she had never seen her father looked so taken by surprise in a pleasant way. She didn't dare look to the Commander Taylor as she already felt she had a long way to go with him thanks to last week's events and missing out on the war games.

"Mrs Taylor did all the work. I just let it happen" Alicia said looking to Ayani who now stood at her husband's side.

"You should be proud of her, she was a very well behaved Barbie doll, General" Ayani teased she looked up at her husband and nudged him. "What'd you think?" she asked Taylor.

"You clean up good Soldier" Taylor said to Alicia as any other kind of compliment would get him into trouble. He had only known Alicia a short while and in that time he had come to see her as an excellent soldier and officer, never anything more but right now he was seeing the woman underneath it all. Even he couldn't deny that he wasn't affected by her beauty. Ayani made a face at him. "What? it's true" he told her and Ayani shook her head at him.

"Now that we are ready I suggest we head out" General Washington said saving Taylor from his wife and making an inappropiate comment about a subordinate in his command.


	4. Chapter 4

The Ball was held in a beautiful restored 20th century hotel ball room. It had all the trimming of beautiful hardwood floorboards, rich velvet curtains, a a huge ornate chandelier. Tables were set for three courses with white table clothes, polished silver and ornate glass where that bespoke the theme. It was like a timewarp but a beautiful one that played into Alicia's fantasy of the night being just like a fairytale minus her finding a Prince Charming. She didn't want to be disappointed by lucking out.

As night progressed, Alicia enjoyed herself. She was introduced to many influential people and danced with a few suitable men her father approved of. It was the same rigamole at social events but instead of the men looking like they were shafted with an undesirable duty they looked excited. That was until they remembered she was going to be career military and most men wanted a wife and kids which did not figure into Alicia's near future at least.

But it was alright she didn't find any of them as attractive prospects either as they lacked a certain something that she couldn't decribe or put her finger on. She just knew when they danced with her, it just felt perfunctory and their flattery empty and meaningless. It didn't give her quite the same zing as when her father told her she was beautiful but then her father knew her and even Commander Taylor's blasé comment of her 'cleaning up good'. It was his stamp of approval and frankly she lived off every scrap of positive reinforcement she could get. It was how she knew she was doing the right thing.

"I'm impressed that you took Mrs Taylor's advice and ventured out of the uniform" Her father said as he was taking his turn dancing with her on the dance floor to the live string quartet that had been playing classical music all night. They were currently waltzing, something they hadn't done since Alicia was in primary school and that was for a Fathers-Daughters dance. She had also been half the height she was nowbut the moment in time still felt as special as this. Though she was taller at 5'8 plus the heels so her 6ft tall father didn't tower over her as much as she used to.

"Me too, I think she's made me her pet project" Alicia said.

"Nothing wrong with that. She is a highly respected woman in her own right and I can see after a week some of her better qualities have rubbed off on you" Her father said before he released her from his hold and twirled her, he pulled her back and placed a hand in the middle of her back and smiled at her. "I also think it wouldn't hurt if you started showing a little more personality so you stand out from the flock"

"Are you trying to say that I'm ewe?" Alicia asked him.

"Fine, wrong tactic but I like the woman before me and I want to see her more often. Doesn't mean you have to wear dresses all the time but tonight it's like you've blossomed" he told her.

"Oh no, don't start with the platitudes of how I'm becoming a butterfly" Alicia said with a chuckle, the music drew to a close and Alicia was grateful as it meant that she wouldn't have to see her father dissolve into sentimental moment where she might cry as she wanted to keep all of Ayani's hard work intact. They stepped back and applauded the band for the song before she took her father's arm and was escorted back to their table before he went to talk to one of his comrades.

Alicia barely sat down before Ayani sat herself down in the seat next to Alicia at the table.

"So having fun?" Ayani asked her, Alicia picked up her glass of water nodded before she took a long sip of much needed water.

"Yeah, thank you again" Alicia told her.

"Anytime, I'm already thinking about what you'll be wearing at the next Military ball" Ayani said to her.

"That's a whole year away." Alicia told her.

"I know but it's good to be prepared in advance" Ayani told her as she smiled and looked over Alicia's shoulder, Alicia turned her head as found Commander Taylor coming their way. "Nathaniel, your Lieutenant is being obstinate with me" she said in a mockingly pouty manner. Taylor gave a smile as he knew he was being baited.

"Is she now? and what about?" he asked as he looked at Alicia, noting the healthy blush gracing her cheeks, it was possibly the first time he had ever seen her blush and found it adorable. He moved to stand by his wife's chair and looked down at the women.

"She won't let me plan her dress for next year's ball" Ayani told him.

"I don't think I'm qualified for this conversation" Taylor told his wife.

"I'm not asking for your imput on the designs I'm asking you to order her to be more compliant to my demands" Ayani told him in a mocking fashion so he knew not to take her seriously. Taylor looked to Alicia who looked like she thought he was going to berate her but before he could say anything she spoke.

"I'm not against meeting your demands I would just like to enjoy this dress a little longer before you make me another" Alicia said in a placating manner. Taylor could tell his wife had been razzing Alicia up and heard the music start up again. He held out to Ayani.

"May I have this dance?" Taylor asked his wife, she smiled up at him and shook her head, he could see she was exhausted and didn't blame her but he also wanted to save his lieutenant from becoming too frazzled from his wife's over enthusiastic nature when it came to fashion. He needed to give the young woman a brief reprieve.

"Thank you but no, my toes still hurt from dancing with General Philbrick but you should take Alicia for a spin as I think you're the only one who hasn't danced with her yet" Ayani said gesturing to Alicia. Taylor looked to Alicia and offered his hand to her.

"Lieutenant, may I have this dance?" he asked, he could see the slight hesitation in her before she gave a nod. It would have been seen as rude if she didn't accept his offer especially since Ayani had told him to so. So Alicia nodded and took his hand as she got to her feet and allowed him to guide her to the dance floor.

He placed his right hand in the middle of her back and held her right hand in his left while she placed her left hand on his shoulder. She felt incredibly tense as there was something about being in this position felt intimate to her as she had never been this close to him before or even touched him bar a hand shake once a BBQ. It was hard not to be taken in by how handsome he was, how strong and steady his presence felt as it wrapped around her like a warm blanket. _Mmm he even smells good... shut it down Leesh and focus.. He's your boss and married to a beautiful and caring woman... he is not fantasy material_... she silently berated herself as she blushed embarrassed for having such inappropiate thoughts of her boss but also annoyed at herself as she didn't want to be a cliche. The music played and he took lead but within two steps she accidently stubbed her toe on his shoe faltering their movement.

"Oh I'm sorry sir" She said embarrassed as she couldn't believe she made a misstep with her own commanding officer. Dancing with him was a mistake as it was too intimate for her, too personal because she admired him. She didn't want the admiration for him as a soldier and his career to develop into something more but then maybe it was too late. She mentally shook her head, she was letting her fantasies imprint on him and it wasn't right but then she thought that this was probably the only time they'd be this physically close and this dressed up so where was the harm for just five minutes.

"It's alright I wore my steel cap boots" he told her making levity of the situation as they started moving to the music again, he relaxed his hand a little lower on her back so as to help her relax as she was far more tense dancing with him than any of her other previous partners. He chalked it up to her being his subordinate and being afraid of doing the wrong thing and ending up on his bad side. Something he wouldn't do over her accidently tripping up on the dance floor. He was not petty like that.

"I'm also sorry for what happened last week" She said as they managed to find their rhythm and she looked up at him. He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"You apologising for painting my boots or getting yourself hospitilised because you didn't want to show weakness by requesting medical leave earlier?" he asked her, she stiffened in his arms at his question and he inwardly smacked himself for sounding so caustic.

"Both" She answered honestly, he started to feel her try to take control of their dance and quickening the pace. He gave a wry smile and wondered if she knew she was doing it or not.

"Apology accepted on both counts but next time just go to medical" he advised her.

"Yes, Sir" She said as she looked around.

"Now could you relax and let me lead?" he asked her, she immediately slowed and took over again, still oddly amused as he always the lead when he danced with his wife and she was the only woman he danced with at the balls and social functions.

"Sorry, Sir. It's a little hard to when everybody is staring at us, my autocontrol switches on" she said with a half shrug and an expression that said 'what can you do?'. He lowered his head slightly.

"You're a beautiful woman, of course they will stare and let them because you are the one with the power to allow them into your world" he told her, she looked at him slightly confused.

"Sir?" she asked.

"Tonight is a ball and I believe my wife has made you 'Cinderella' if you'll allow me to label you" he said being polite. Alicia smiled as she didn't mind the connotation as she felt like a Pauper masquerading as Princess and it wasn't a bad thing as she was enjoying herself. She would take many good memories with her tonight very much like the Cinderella her father used to tell her about when he indulged her in when she was younger.

"If I remember Cinderella goes to the ball in the most beautiful gown ever created. She and the Widowed King fall in love with each other but before they could share one kiss, the clock strikes twelve and she runs home before her gown turns to ashes but in the process loses one of her slippers. The King finds the slipper and tracks her down because he cannot imagine a life without her by his side. I think I maybe letting you down Sir because I have no interest in falling love tonight with any widower or having this dress turn to ashes" She said, looking at him, she could help being just a little sentimental in the moment as Taylor opened the door for the discussion. He chuckled at her as he secretly felt relieved at the knowledge. He did not want to lose her to another man as it would mean her resigning her commission to start a family.

"My wife will appreciate that but I have to admit I remember a different version of Cinderella" he murmured to her.

"It's the version my father told me as a little girl. I used to love hearing him tell me that story as it was the only one he ever told that was about love. I think he didn't me to obsessed about princesses, princes and fairytale happy endings" Alicia said with a shrug.

"Or perhaps he was preparing you so you understood that people can love more than one person with the same fervour" Taylor said idly. Alicia opened her mouth to say something but really didn't know what to say, she couldn't really talk about love as it was not an emotion she knew, not in the sense that her Father and Commander Taylor did. So she closed her mouth feeling it was better to remain silent and enjoy the dance while it lasted because as soon as the music drew to an end she and Taylor would go back to their current practice of remaining professionally distant from one another.

In some ways she realised she was like Cinderella as she was dancing with a man close enough to her ideal of a King but he was not widowed and she would never wish him such heartache for him. So she like Cinderella would enjoy her limited time and enjoy this one dance.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Life/Uni got in the way. I'm also changing the story up.. it does get very character bashy (but nothing too hateful.. I love Terra Nova and Wash!) and a little dark. You have been forewarned and I'm thinking I will up the rating but I will wait and see how the story progresses.. Otherwise PLEASE ENJOY!_

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**Present Day, Day Three of the Occupation.**

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Boylan's bar was rank with the smell of stale beer, red wine, old cigars from the previous night. To the side of the main stairs to the bar was a table with one occupant; Alicia Washington. The table sat on a level all by itself like it was a trophy sitting on a shelf. A channel of sunlight shone down on the table and Alicia who had her head down on the table in her arms. The scene created emphasised the point Lucas was making when he took over the Colony. He owned them, just as he owned Alicia Washington. What Lucas proclaimed was Commander Taylor's second most prized possession.

Boylan still remember the day the colony had been shelled and the Lieutenant calling a cease fire and surrendering the colony. They had been outgunned and manned and he like many felt it had been the best move. It was about survival not pride.

But Lucas and his cronies had shown no respect to Lieutenant Washington and her soldiers for surrendering. They didn't play by the Geneva Conventions as the Terra Novan Soldiers had been rounded up, stripped of their weapons before they were imprisoned in the barracks. They were given scraps of food and little water and told be grateful that they weren't dead. Anyone who spoke up were sent to the bring and those who were violent were shot on sight. Lucas claimed them as an 'example'. It probably helped the young man sleep at night as long as he downed a bottle ofbooze with it.

But in Boylan's opinion Alicia had gotten the worst, they didn't just treat her the same with the soldiers. They could of executed her but instead they took her and chained her to a spot in the main square, they rallied the colonists and made them all watch as stripped her of her rank; ripping the signas off her uniform along with her dog tags and then cutting her clothes until she was only standing in her racerback bra and knickers.

It was difficult to stand by and watch as Alicia was a strong woman but she had a lot of pride and Boylan knew she feeling she had failed the Colonists, failed Commander Taylor as she took the punishment and he knew she wouldn't fight back because she felt she deserved it. Anyone could tell she hated herself for surrendering and self hatred was more powerful and painful than anything Lucas could do to her.

Lucas of course was too juvenile and giddy with victory to realise it as he gave them all a speech about how Alicia was another 'example' of his power over them. He told them no one was to help her, no was allowed to talk to her and then told them to scatter. Alicia was left in the main square standing in the blazing summer sun.

She stood there with her hands and feet chained to the spot. She never wavered, never dropped her head or showed signs of any discomfort. She took her punishment with as much grace as anyone could and by the time the sun was at it's hottest on the second day Lucas grew bored of her stubbornness by her lack of responsiveness as she hadn't shown any signs of falling over. It obviously annoyed him as he liked it when they cowered around him. So he made the pedestal for Alicia in Boylan's bar and had her brought in. He told her if she left the table for any reason (bathroom being the exception to the rule) he'd kill one of the Terra Novan Soldiers and when he ran out of them he'd move onto the colonists. As if she would do so after standing in the blazing sun without food or water for two days decide now was the time to fight?

She just sat down at the table and hadn't left it except when she needed to use the bathroom. Boylan brought her a tube of aloe vera mixed with derma-spray to heal her burnt skin and a change of clothes with a pair of boots, when Lucas made noise about it Boylan offered the advice that a half naked woman incited violence in a bar and he was not running that kind of joint. Lucas had sneered a 'whatever' and walked away.

Alicia mumbled a thanks and donned the clothes and ordered herself a drink. Boylan felt like a mother hen to Alicia ever since which was amusing after so many years of her kicking his ass in the military. He made sure she ate and even watered down her booze when she was plastered, he had never seen her so completely beaten and she was doing it to herself, Lucas dropped by for a round just to reinforce in Alicia's dark thoughts.

He looked over at the table with pure sympathy. He pulled out a clean glass and bottle of green smoothie and poured a glass of it with a splash of the hard liquor Alicia had chosen to preserve herself in yesterday. He took it over to the table and placed the glass infront of Alicia.

Boylan's footsteps woke Alicia from a pleasant dream that had been filled with pleasant memories of another time. She kept her head down, she had a dark brown taste in her mouth from the booze. Sleeping at the table didn't help her less than sunny disposition either as her whole being was sore and she felt sick but it was all penance for her failure. When the glass thudded gently on the wooden table she lifted her head up and winced at the bright light as it hit her face.

"Morning Sunshine" Boylan said in his cheery manner, his rich Australian accent made his greeting sound a touch sarcastic or maybe that was justher interpretation.

"You know I was hoping you'd give me a cup of coffee" Alicia said as she picked up the glass inspecting it for a moment before she took a sip of the green smoothie. It tasted foul but she knew it would help her hangover ease to just being slightly bearable.

"You'll get a cup of coffee when I know you'll have three solid meals and lay off the booze for 24 hours" he told her, she grimaced as she found the idea of food nauseating and if she were honest she just wanted to numb herself with booze. Food would just make it that much harder for her to get drunk.

"Not going to happen" Alicia said before she took another sip wincing as pain sliced through her head.

"You should clear your head Lieutenant-" Boylan started but she cut him off.

"So I can see the mess I've made, the people I've failed with my decisions with clearer clarity?" Alicia asked tears stung her eyes.

"So you can think strategy and we can get ourselves out of this mess" he said, he needed to give her hope or at least some purpose as he had only ever seen her like this twice and both times had scared the hell out of him. Only Taylor was able to pull her out of it and the blasted man was no where to be found.

"We're outnumbered, we have no weapons. Our soldiers are either injured or dead. Guzman- he's out of action and Commander Taylor for all I know is –" Alicia ran her teeth over her bottom lip trying to maintain what little was left of her composure before continuing. "He could be dead and you want me to sober up and mount a war from my pedestal?" Alicia asked she gave a sardonic laugh and shook her head. She was right they couldn't do anything,

Boylan looked at the table, he felt as defeated as she did. They didn't have an army or even many people with the necessary skills to mount a resistance. Even if they could they ran the risk of losing more people with no results to show for it.

"If I could fight I would but Lucas won't kill me. He'll just line up every colonist and kill them one at a time until I give in. I'm stuck at this damn table. Damned if I do and damned if I don't" Alicia said, she slammed her glass down in pure frustration and shattered splintering in her hand across the table. She cursed and gave a growl of pain as blood started to ooze from her hand.

"Geezus Wash" Boylan said shocked she had the strength to break the glass. He got up from his stool. "I'll call the infirmary, don't even try cleaning up the mess or apologising." Boylan told her.

Alicia looked down at her palm and felt the urge to squeeze her hand to feel the pain as the glass dug deeper into her palm. But she didn't instead she just watched the blood seep from her hand and drop onto the table. She gave a sigh as she wished she hadn't woken up. What she wouldn't give to go back in time or to have someone touch her in more than a perfunctory manner. In her sleep at least she could dream of better things and times. Right now, she just felt stuck with nowhere to go and no direction. She needed Lucas to cut her some slack and allow her to go home where she could at least have a decent night's sleep and a decent shower or just put her out of her misery and kill her now.

Boylan came back with a towel and Alicia held it under her hand to stop the blood from dripped everywhere and watched as Boylan cleaned up the mess.

"I don't want to live out the rest of my days as a prisoner. I don't want my last mark on this life to be one of coward" Alicia said in a low voice. Boylan who had brushed the broken glass from the table into a bucket looked at her.

"It won't be and this isn't the end, I reckon Taylor is still out there" Boylan told her.

"Oh yeah?" she asked in a wry tone. Boylan nodded as he continued to clean up.

"Yeah, if he were dead don't you think Lucas would sticking his old man's corpse out in the main square for everyone to see?" he asked.

"You have a point" Alicia admitted.

"So maybe I could convince you into a solid breakfast?" he asked with a hopeful tone.

"I'd rather a cup of coffee and a long hot shower" Alicia told him.

"I'll complain to Lucas that you're stinking up the joint and I would try hosing you down but I fear for my personal safety" Boylan joked, Alicia's lips quirked in the faintest of smiles probably the first one since the attack on the colony.

"Boylan, you called?" Elisabeth Shannon said as she came down the stairs into the bar, she walked over to them and then spotted Alicia holding her hand and the blood.

"Yeah, we had a bit of accident. Lieutenant needs some stitches" Boylan said casual as he went to sweeping the glass from the floor that surrounded the table. Elisabeth took the seat opposite Alicia and opened her med kit from her bag and then proceeded to pull on surgical gloves.

Alicia gingerly placed her injured hand in Elisabeth's. Unless the good Doctor was miracle worker Alicia was going to need the infirmary as there was too much gore to see where the tiny shards of glass were in comparison to the larger slivers.

"Some accident" Elisabeth said as she carefully inspected the wound.

"Hmm" Alicia said not bothering to make excuses or elaborate. There was no point. She watched Elisabeth and idly wondered how she was doing with her family. She really didn't know the Shannons' that well. Only time she spoke to them was when the eldest kid Josh was in trouble, the middle kid Maddy wanted to ask her questions about the colony or when Commander Taylor partnered her with Shannon and that was to keep him an eye on the man.

As for Elisabeth, well Alicia never had the time to know her personally. She always had an odd feeling they would have gotten a long well despite their differences in lifestyle as Elisabeth had a very affable nature.

"I can't fix this here" Elisabeth said.

"I can't leave the bar or Lucas will harm our soldiers"

"Ok, then could you do me a favour and lie down on the floor over there and pretend to be unconscious"

"Excuse me?"

"Just do it"

"Fine"

"Boylan, could you run to the infirmary and tell them I need an back board and neck brace. Immediately. Lieutenant Washington has fallen and is unconscious and not responding"

"Sly, I like it"

"I hope you're a good actor" she said.

"Oscar worthy" Boylan said as he took off out the bar like his ass was on fire.

"Why are you bothering to help me?"

"I know you hate yourself right now but you saved my children and many other families by surrendering the colony. You gave them a chance to survive and that is enough for me" Elisabeth told her.

"We haven't had a chance to speak about what happened out there" Alicia said in a subdued tone, she watched the emotions flicker across Elisabeth's expression.

"I know, between Jim and the kids. It's more than I can handle at the moment" Elisabeth told her.

"Understandably" Alicia said sympathetically.

"But we need to talk. Just not now" Elisabeth said as they heard people coming.


	6. Chapter 6

**2132**

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"Hey! Can I get two pitchers of beer?" Alicia asked the bartender, the man behind the bar gave her a look of admonishment as he took the empties she had placed on the had been trying to get his attention for last 15 minutes while he chatted up a storm with some guy at the end of the bar.

Alicia turned her back to the bar and took in the scene. It was an underground pub in Boston called 'Cheers' apparently their used to be a TV show about the place but it was so old no one knew what it was about except that it was apparently hilarious for it's time and created a song about going to a place where everybody knows your name. Like having a whole bar familiar with who you were was somehow special.

Alicia didn't get it but hey, the place had good food and the alcohol was cheap. The music was relaxing and not so loud you couldn't carry on a conversation. It was not the Bachelor's party she had imagined for Casey Durwin having as he came off as the kind of guy who would rather be covered in body glitter that was transferred from some busty stripper in a seedy club uptown. Luckily her assessment was incorrect or in this case correct but Casey was so whipped by his future wife he wasn't going anywhere near a strip club.

She didn't even know why she was there, Casey had invited her but it had been a off handed invite as he had asked Commander Taylor and Sergeant Guzman to attend. But she accepted the invitation, she put it down to being lonely and her father told her there was no better way to boost morale and build comradery with your NCOs than buying them a couple rounds of drinks.

"Asshole" Alicia mumbled under her breath as she looked over her shoulder to see the bartender was purposefully taking his sweet ass time pouring her fresh beers.

"Welcome to the one bar in the city where girls don't get served before the guys" the woman to her left said. Alicia looked to the woman she was the same height as Alicia with light brown skin that contrasted with her olive green eyes.

Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail and she wore long silver drop earrings. She was in black mini dress coupled with a leather jacket that Alicia would love to own but probably could never afford as it looked like genuine leather and flat heeled half calf boots. She looked sexy and confident and just oozed it, she was so beautiful she almost had Alicia questioning her own sexuality but then one look in Commander Taylor's direction and she was naturally reaffirmed that she'd a man like him over any woman.

"He could at least be civil" Alicia grouched as she had been nothing but kind to Bartender and tipped him but right now she was tempted to steal back her tips.

"Yeah, hey maybe you get one of your boys up here to get us both a drink" she said.

"I'm contemplating it" Alicia said wryly. The woman smiled a dazzling smile at her.

"They are pretty rowdy. You all soldiers?" she asked.

"Yeah" Alicia said, she looked over her shoulder again to check the progress and found the bartender was now ignoring her order and chatting up some hot guy at the end of the bar.

"I could tell by your posture, my daddy was a military , I take it you're dating one-" The woman started but Alicia cut her off.

"No, they are my subordinates. Except for the man standing by the wall, he's my superior" Alicia said, she didn't know why she was telling a complete stranger she only met 5 seconds ago all this information.

"Ah explains the masculine outfit. I love the mix up. Is that jacket from Kobayashi's?" she asked, Alicia look down at her outfit feeling a little zing of pride from the compliment. Alicia had purposefully donned an outfit for a boys' night out. She wore a white v-neck tshirt, black skinny jeans and royal blue blazer with rolled cuffs with her black half calf boots.

She had donned some eye shadow and let her hair down which only led to the boys catwauling and wolf whistling about her trying to impress them. She told them every woman needs her war paint before she goes hunting. It earned her a few laughs.

"Yeah, it is" Alicia said, Kobayashi's was a mid range expensive clothing shop. Alicia had seen the jacket in the window on her way to her local gym and loved the colour.

"I'm Gina by the way" Gina said introducing herself.

"Alicia"

"So Alicia, why are you the only girl at the table? Aren't there any other women in your outfit?" Gina asked in a slighty mocking manner.

"Because I'm the only girl who accidently got invited to the buck's party" Alicia told her.

"Oh nice, the polite invitation right?" Gina asked, they both knew what it was like to be asked to an event out of the sake of being polite not because the inviters wanted them there.

"That's right" Alicia said with a knowing smile to Gina, she had been about to add some witty remark but didn't as Guzman walked up to them. She didn't need him relaying any information back to the table.

"Lieutenant, Ma'am" Guzman said in greeting to them, "I was sent over to investigate why the drinks are taking so long" Guzman said as he threw a look over his shoulder at the Table where Boylan was telling a story enthralling the group with large hand gestures and wild facial expressions.

"I believe the bartender has been distracted from making the drinks" Gina said, the three of them looked over to see the bartender who was still chatting up the hot guy at the other end of the bar for a moment before resuming their conversation. Alicia noticed Gina sizing Guzman up with an appreciative eye.

"Looks like you might have so more luck than us ladies, all you have to do is undo a couple more buttons and wink at him" Gina added, Alicia tried to keep a straight face as Guzman was even more of prude than herself.

Even out on the town he had his shirt buttoned up with a tie, sure his top button was undone and his tie was loose even with his sleeves rolled up to the elbows but they were tucked into his dark blue jeans and that was his relaxed look. Commander Taylor on the other hand looked more relaxed than Guzman as he wore faded blue jeans and a white shirt with a couple of buttons open and shirt untucked.

The other men were all in varying degrees of casual wear except for Boylan who looked like he was on a tropical holiday in ¾ shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. He claimed that the low spring temperatures were absolutely 'balmy' and he also claimed the women couldn't resist his lucky legs with their sexy calf muscles. Obviously Alicia was immune to his legs as she had built up a resistance to their magnetic pull from hours of PT.

"Thanks for the advice but I decline to flash skin for a drink. The men need to slow down" he said with an amused look in his eyes while his face remained otherwise impassive.

"I thought the whole point of a buck's night was to get raving drunk then tar and feather the groom to be and leave him handcuffed to a street pole" Alicia said in a mockingly innocent manner. She could get away with showing some familiarity and impish behaviour with Guzman off the clock as he was their highest ranking NCO and so there was some leeway as long as it was friendly and nothing more which it was. Guzman looked down at her and raised an eyebrow at her.

"We could do that but Commander Taylor has given strict orders that Durwin be returned to the base in one piece"

"Ah no fun, by the way I'm Gina" Gina said to Guzman.

"Oh I sorry, I forgot to make introductions" Alicia said cringing at her lack of social etiquettes. "This is Sergeant Isaac Guzman. We all call him Guzman" Alicia added as she completed making the proper introductions. Guzman held out his hand to her, Gina shook the hand on offer and held his gaze it was almost as if the two were challenging one another for a moment before Guzman backed off and let go of her hand and gaze first.

"You don't mind if I call you Isaac or would you prefer Guzman?" Gina asked comfortably.

"Either is fine Ma'am" Guzman said politely, trying to put distance between himself and her by being professional but he wasn't fooling either woman.

"Then Isaac please feel free to call me Gina. I'd rather hear my name than be called Ma'am" Gina told him.

"Yes, Ma-Gina" Guzman said correcting himself halfway. Gina smiled at him with one of her dazzling smiles.

"Getting there" Gina teased, Alicia watched with disbelief as Guzman's neck turned a nice shade of red. He was embarrassed, and it was a first for Alicia to see. Alicia didn't get to enjoy for it long as Taylor came over to them with a couple of strides to stand next to her.

"Commander" Alicia said in greeting. Taylor made a face, obviously the booze was starting to melt his usual stony demeanour as she could read what he was thinking before he said it.

"Wash, we're in public and off the clock. You can call me Taylor" he said casually, he gave her a smile that could melt butter. Ever since the ball she couldn't stop getting her thoughts from going wayward. At least they were just thoughts, ones that she could promptly squash into a box and forgot about until he did something that reminded her that he wasn't just a soldier but more.

"Sorry, it takes a bit time to get used to" Alicia said, feeling alittle flustered, she wished she could blame it on her annoyance with the bartender but really it was just her stupid female hormones. She really needed to start dating and find someone else to fixate her wayward thoughts on.

"Then do it quickly" he told her in a teasing manner, "So what's the hold up on the beer?" he asked after a brief pause.

"The bartender is picking up his lover for the night than pouring drinks" Gina said to Taylor.

"Gina, Taylor" Alicia said making quick introductions between the two.

"Ma'am" he said.

"Everytime someone calls me Ma'am I feel like an aged by five years" Gina said to Alicia who chuckled.

"You two old friends?" Taylor asked, he had seen them talking and figured they knew one another as they talked so affably with one another. Something he had noticed with Alicia was that she was reserved in who and how she spoke to people.

"No, we just met and I saw her walk away from your group and had to introduce myself so that way she could tell me where she got her jacket and introduce me to Isaac" Gina said with the slightest bit of tact.

"Really?" Taylor said wearing an amused smile as Guzman looked surprised at the knowledge and embarrassed by Gina's forward nature. Taylor was sure the woman would fail with her intentions as Guzman was focussed solely on his career to the point Taylor ordered the man to come out tonight. If anything Guzman needed to relax and socialise more something Taylor had advised him to do because the military liked to promote those who could move in both the military and civilian circles.

"Yes, I would have braved the whole table but the guy who keeps flashing his pasty white legs up in the air kind of put me off my game" Gina said making a face, Alicia chuckled.

"That would be Boylan" Alicia said.

"He's Australian" Guzman said as if that was enough of an explanation.

"He has lucky legs" Taylor added in a dry tone as he was sure if he heard Boylan's lucky legs story one more time he's break them.

"Lucky legs? I feel there's a story" Gina said.

"Yes, and you missed it, the leg waving is the end" Taylor said, he looked to Alicia who was trying not to laugh. She cleared her throat and turned to Gina.

"Boylan says 'they are his lucky legs as in he's lucky no one breaks them off and shoves them up his a-"

"Your drinks" the bartender said cutting Alicia off before she could finish her sentence. He place to full jugs on the bar top for her.

"Thanks" Alicia said politely to the bartender, he nodded before he went back to chatting up his potential lover for the evening.

"I'll take one, Wash" Taylor said, he reached past her and easily lifted one of the jugs off the bar before she could.

"Thanks, well it was nice meeting you Gina. I'll leave Guzman to buy you a drink" Alicia said, she picked up the other jug and smiled at Gina and Guzman. Guzman gave her a dirty look before he gave Gina a closed lipped smile.

"You too and I'll give you my deets so we can maybe hook up for a coffee sometime" Gina said to her.

"Sure thing" Alicia said, she placed her jug of beer on the bar and both women pulled out their comm. units and exchanged contacts. Once that was done, Alicia then picked up her pitcher and walked back to the table, not before giving Guzman a smug smile.

"Finally, you took your time" Casey said when Alicia reached the table. Taylor was already pouring out beer for the table.

"I was talking with that beautiful woman over there" Alicia told Casey. The men all turned to look at Guzman and Gina but more to check out Gina.

"And you left her for us?" Casey asked, a little shocked.

"I guess I was wrong about you Lieut. You're not as immune to my sexy calves as I thought you were" Boylan said with a grin as he got up to take the jug of beer from her. Alicia shook her head at him as she retook her seat. She glanced over her shoulder briefly and then turned back smiling to herself as she wondered if Gina would loosen Guzman up before the night was out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Present day, Day Three of Occupation.**

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"Stop staring at my calves, Wash or I'll come back there make a real woman out of you" Boylan told her as he walked away with a swagger, Alicia shook her head at him as he'd been making that joke for years. At least his legs had tanned somewhat with all the sunshine but she still didn't get the appeal. Elisabeth of course laughed at the joke as she stood at the end of Alicia's Bio-bed typing notes into Alicia's medical charts.

Getting Alicia out of the bar and her injuries treated had been rather straightforward. The Phoenix Soldiers felt it easier to let her leave than have Lucas berate them or whatever he did to keep them in line.

There had been no sign of Lucas but Mira had dropped by to see Alicia. Alicia didn't pretend to be asleep and Mira while she didn't show any sympathy she also didn't show any malice. It was disconcerting as Mira told Alicia to be back in the bar before midday or there would be consequences. So Alicia was given 'Parole'. Luckily the four hours would her enough time to finish up in the infirmary and go home for a hot shower before going back to the bar. Maybe after the blood and the dirt of two days was rinsed from her skin could she begin to think differently.

But right now, she sat up on the biobed hooked up to an IV and given a banana bag. It wouldn't stop her hangover but it would return most of the vitamins, minerals and salts she had washed out of body by her excessive drinking.

They had her on the bed next to Shannon's. She could just make out his prone figure as he laid on the bed. He hadn't moved since she came in except for the comforting rise and fall of his chest she would think he was dead.

"He's been like that since yesterday" Elisabeth said as she noticed Alicia looking over at Jim.

"Brain activity?" Alicia asked her.

"All normal.." Elisabeth rattled off all the notes of Jim's condition as she had them memorised. She smiled as she looked to Alicia. "I forget that you have a medical degree and combat medical training and experience" she said.

"Yes, though the last time I performed medical procedure it was on a Nykorapter" Alicia said grimly, it hadn't been the best use of her talents but then an order was an order. But at least it had been amusing to watch Shannon struggle to keep his lunch. The man made the most amusing facial expressions.

"Jim told me how disgusting that was" Elisabeth said with a warm smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"You said you have to tell me something?" Alicia asked in a low voice changing the topic as she knew how one could get morose and it was better to have a distraction than dwell in it. She felt like a hyppocrite but then she wasn't really at her best so if could be overlooked or so she told herself.

"Yes, I've been trying to find a way to tell you this but that day when they destroyed the terminus. A portal opened directly in its place and the area was flooded with soldiers, I of course surrendered myself. Everyone needs a Doctor right?" Elisabeth asked with a hollow laugh.

"Very true" Alicia said.

"But the thing is I overheard one of the soldiers saying that they'd lost track a group of soldiers and Commander Taylor in brush. It was like they had vanished." Elisabeth said, it was hearsay evidence at best but it was the only news of Taylor she had heard since he first left the colony.

"So he's alive" Alicia said,

"Yes, I know he has survived. I believe it in my bones" Elisabeth said strongly. It was plain to see Elisabeth was holding strong that Taylor would save them all. Something Alicia knew he would attempt at some point but right now that rescue seemed incredibly far away and when he did. What would he say to her? What would he think of her conduct?

"Great, that's great" Alicia said nodding as she scrunched her eyebrows together and tried not to show the crushing blow of failure in herself. She did feel relieved but she knew he would be just as disappointed in her conduct as she felt and it crushed her after so many years of service she had failed him when it was their most important mission. Preserve the Colony, Preserve Terra Nova and it's future. What had she done? Just handed it over to enemy to destroy and plunder. Some soldier she was.

"I don't know if it will help us or you but I felt you should know" Elisabeth said with empathy.

"Thank you" Alicia said.

"We need to hold onto whatever shred of hope we can" Elisabeth told her.

"Right" Alicia said, she wasn't in the mood for a pep talk as she felt she already knew the reality of the situation. "Tell me, did Guzman make it?" she asked Elisabeth. He had been injured badly but because she had to raise the white flag and serve out Lucas' pitiful excuse of 'punishment' she didn't know exactly who was alive and who was dead. It also didn't help that she was wallowing in her own little pity party. All she had were numbers stuck in her head. 26. That's how many had died in the initial attack. 5 more following the surrender because they resisted.

"He's alive" Elisabeth started and Alicia felt a surge of relief "but to be honest the prognosis isn't good. His injuries are quite severe..." Elisabeth went into detail and Alicia dropped her head and pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened to the bad news. She still had his blood on her skin where it had soaked through her clothing as she hadn't been allowed the freedom of a shower yet. "We have to wait until he wakes up to see what the real damage is" Elisabeth said to her in a sympathetic manner as she finished laying out Guzman's prognosis.

"Right" Alicia said, she had hoped that he would make it as he had saved her in the battle but thanks to saving her he now laid in a bio-bed fighting for his life. Another person she had failed. "Could I see him?" Alicia asked.

"Of course, come with me" Elisabeth said, Alicia hopped off the bio-bed and dragged her IV pole with her as she followed Elisabeth down the long line of beds filled with injuried soldiers and colonists. Alicia kept her head down and eyes averted in shame and guilt until they reached the last bed.

"I'll give you a few moments alone with him" Elisabeth said to Alicia, she nodded but stared at the bed where Guzman laid. His skin was pale, his face half covered in bandages as was most of his body. A machine pumped air into his body and sucked it out. A vitals monitor beeped slowly the only signs that he was indeed alive. Alicia moved to his bedside and swallowed the pain swelling up in her. She had known the man for over a decade, considered him one of her closest friends. She leaned over to talk in his ear as she didn't want anyone else to hear what she was going to say.

"Guz, I know you can hear me in there" she whispered in his ear. "So listen well. I need you to wake up, I need you to be ok" she said, tears filled her eyes but she blinked them back. "I can't have your death on my conscience do you hear me? I can't" she told him.

She straightened up and took a moment to compose herself and that was when she spotted his tags hanging from the machine. The cord on them was slightly charred and darkened by the blood. She gently grasped the tags and activated the interface, she bypassed it to the pictures. She knew it was an invasion of his privacy but she had always been curious to if he had kept anything on them and he had. Tears stung her eyes as she scrolled through the pictures of Tasha growing up to him and Gina as couple from life events such as engagement party to wedding. She turned off the tags and let them hang off the machine. She looked at Guzman for a moment before Elisabeth came back.

"Leftenant?" Elisabeth asked in a tentative manner.

"Yes?" Alicia asked.

"I was thinking, you have a couple of hours before you have to get back to the bar. Perhaps you'd like to take a shower. I've brought some scrubs you can change into while I get someone to launder your clothes and you can use the changeroom out the back" Elisabeth said.

"I'd appreciate that" Alicia said. The woman smiled sympathetically at her.


	8. Chapter 8

**2132**

* * *

After Durwin's buck's night, it appeared that Gina and Guzman had truly hit it off as it was six months later and Alicia was in a large banquet hall celebrating the engagement of the happy couple.

Alicia blinked after the photo temporarily blinded by the flash of the camera. Ayani laughed as she too was suffering from the photographer's obsessive photo taking. It was like an indoor lightning storm as there was camera flash going off nearly every second. Guzman and soon to be wife were definitely documenting every second of the lead up to their wedding which was set for three months from their engagement.

They were definitely in a whirlwind relationship but very much in love. Gina was not shy in giving Alicia every detail about her and Guzman's love life and relationship to the point Alicia had to put a moratorium on anything related to sex and Guzman's anatomy. Alicia was good at compartmentalizing but there were some things Alicia didn't need to know. Guzman however was reserved in his displays and in giving information but anyone could tell he was deeply in love with Gina and vice versa just by how they looked at one another.

Alicia was incredibly envious of the two as she wished she could have a partner but it was difficult to find a man who didn't feel emasculated by her career. She really wanted to fall in love and know what it was like to be touched by a man and not have it be in a perfunctory fashion. Just to have a man look at her like she were the centre of his universe. She was definitely way too romantic to be a one night stand kind of girl. But then who knew, she didn't have a lot of experience in that department. It wasn't like she was virgin, she had had sex before and found it to be really nothing impressive. Perhaps it was due to her not feeling her own sex appeal or that confidence a lot of women did.

But that had changed over the last few months, she started to secretly enjoy taking notice of herself. It probably helped that she had Gina and Ayani with their combined efforts she had learned many things about personal comportment and how to dress her body to present her best image with minimal effort from clothes, make up to how she wore her hair. All of it led to her developing a style that suited her lifestyle and her personality instead of just copying current fashion trends.

She had never felt so comfortable in her skin than she did now and it was thanks to Gina and Ayani. Without their help she was sure she'd be completely hopeless.

"I'm not sure how many times I can endure having my picture taken before I suffer permanent damage to my retinas" Ayani joked. Alicia smiled as she felt like every time she turned around the photographer was taking her picture but then Ayani or Gina were always standing next to her. So it wasn't like she was special or the Photographer was stalking her.

"Well I'm sure you can sue Guzman for compensation but I doubt you'll get much as I think they poured every dime into their engagement party and wedding" Alicia said dryly as she took a sip of her champagne. It was a top notch event, the food was 80% real and the booze was delicious. The party goers were dressed in cocktail style clothes. The men in suits and the women in dresses. Alicia had straightened her hair and worn it loose with natural looking make up. Her dress was a black sleeveless dress with a low v-neck line and ended abover her knees. She accessorised it with a wide turquiose beld to accentuate her small waist and give herself the appearance of an hourglass figure and a pair of ankle boots with stiletto heels. Her feet started to hurt as soon as she stepped into them but she loved the shoes and enjoyed the hieght it gave her as she had no desire tonight to have anyone look down at her.

"Ah but you only get married once, so why not pull out all the stops? It's celebration-" Ayani started.

"And if you follow that with a 'when you get married you'll understand' I may I have to walk away and find more champagne" Alicia warned her as she looked around at all the happy people, she felt the joy but was also a little depressed as she felt left out in regards to the fact she was nowhere close to celebrating such life events.

"Your turn will come, and when it does you'll decide what's right for you. Just know there is nothing wrong with being single and wanting a career and accomplish a few things before settling down. Just don't forget to have a little fun along the way. Speaking of fun, to your three o'clock. Is that right? You know after 10 years married to the military you'd think I'd know some things by now" Ayani said casually as she darting her eyes in the direction. Alicia inwardly sighed as Ayani was always playing her 'wingman' whether Alicia was interested in meeting someone or not.

So just to get Ayani to stop twitching her head and making a scene. Alicia glanced over and saw a handsome man in his early thirties, dark brown complexion and black hair with brown eyes; leaning against the bar blatantly staring at her with open interest. He rose his glass of amber liquor and smiled at her as he caught her looking his way. She felt a blush creep her cheeks as she looked back to Ayani who was smiling.

"Can I pick them or what?" Ayani asked in a smug tone as she took Alicia's empty champagne glass and placed it on the tray of waiter walking past.

"You're married" Alicia told her in a chastising manner. Ayani gave a shrug as she found nothing wrong with letting her eyes wander as she was helping Alicia learn to live a little between deployments and her work as a soldier. It wasn't like she was looking for herself.

"Nothing wrong with looking at the menu after you ordered. Anyway he is coming this way and I know for a fact he doesn't want me. So I am going to find my husband and see if he'll indulge me in a dance" Ayani said as she made a quick exit and disappeared before Alicia could make her stay.

"I didn't mean to make your friend run off. Champagne" a deep male voice with a transatlantic accent said Alicia turned and face him. Up close he wasn't devastatingly handsome but definitely easy on the eyes and he was elegantly dressed in his dinner suit. He oozed money and confidence as he picked up a fresh glass of champagne from a waiter walking by and offered it to her.

"She wanted to go dance with her husband" Alicia told him off-handedly as she took the glass on offer just so she could keep her hands busy.

"So do you have a partner or husband lurking around that I should be concerned about?" He asked in an idle manner and a sly smile on his lips.

"No, I'm here stag and no one is waiting at home for me" Alicia told him before taking a sip of Champagne feeling a little brave with the booze in her system. What could it hurt for her to have a little fun and flirt a little with a handsome man?

* * *

Ayani walked over to her husband and slipped her hand down his jacket covered arm and into hand and intertwined her fingers with his. He glanced her way as he continued to listen to the General who was talking about the political climate in Russia and China; how it was going to the US. He gave her a quick smile before turning his attention back to the General.

"Anyway enough of this boring talk Commander, we're at my Daughter's engagement party" General Reddington, Gina's father said. He was about 5'8 short by most men in the Army but he made up for it in a solid build.

"I agree politics are best left at the door" Ayani said with a warm smile to the general.

"Indeed Mrs Taylor but I think your Husband has designs on going into politics" General Reddington said.

"I'm sure he could be quite successful in government. He's incredibly charismatic" Ayani said looking to Taylor.

"Indeed" Reddington agreed.

"I hope you don't mind General but I was hoping to steal my husband for a waltz" Ayani said politely.

"Not at all" Reddington said, he walked away and Taylor turned to his wife.

"How are you doing?" Taylor asked his wife, she was beautiful sometimes it hurt to just look at her as he wished sometimes he spent more time with her and Lucas and less on his career but then he had to follow orders and they didn't give a lot of leeway for family time. He was lucky she loved him so much to put up with him.

"I'm going well" she said she leaned in close and then said in a low voice "I have had a little too much to drink"

"I can tell by the blush in your cheeks" he said as he kissed the tip of her nose.

"No, that's all your doing" she told him.

"So I take it your wingman duties are finished for the night?" he asked as Ayani had been talking about her mission to get his Lieutenant some 'male attention of the sexual variety'. He had to ask her not to tell him anymore details as he didn't need to know the state of his Lieutenant's sex life or lack thereof.

"Yes, I was very successful" Ayani said as she looked over her shoulder to see Alicia blushing as the man she was with leaned in close telling her something that must have been funny as Alicia smiled and looked like she gave a laugh. Taylor looked over in the direction his wife did and spotted his Lieutenant.

"Looks like they are hitting it off" Taylor remarked, he pursed his lips as he didn't like the idea of his lieutenant being flirted by some suave man in an expensive suit. Frankly, he preferred she remain single, he didn't mind the subtle changes in her appearance and the quiet confidence she now held in herself that she didn't have 6 months ago but he wasn't ready to watch her get married and have kids. It would mean a real juggle on their command schedules and he was a man of routine.

He liked order and cohesiveness and while he respected that people had lives and families outside of the military he didn't appreciate it when the two bled in together. When his men were on the clock he owned them, so unless someone was dying he didn't let a man off duty for anything. But women were different, they got pregnant and a female officer pregnant meant a lot of compromises he preferred not to make unless absolutely necessary. It was one of the reasons many women transferred out of his command. They didn't like how he treated them exactly the same as he did his men. Or at least those were the reasons he came up with.

"I hope so, she needs to have a little male attention of the flirty variety instead of the boy's club" Ayani told him.

"What's wrong with my boys club?" he teased her.

* * *

"A woman needs to feel like she is desired, beautiful and you and your boys can't do that for her. Now come on, let's dance" Ayani told him. Taylor nodded and allowed his wife to lead him to the dance floor.

"I have to make a confession" Jake said to Alicia, he leaned in close as if he were about to tell her a secret and she caught the scent of his cologne. He smelt good, so good; she felt the urge to close her eyes and take a deep inhale but restrained herself.

"I've been watching you since you first came in tonight, you're incredibly beautiful" he said, Alicia blushed and bit her bottom lip and looked away feeling a warm wave of pleasure rush through her from the compliment. Or maybe it was just the champagne, who knew? All she knew was that she was enjoying Jake's flirtations, it was nice to be seen as a woman and not teased mercilessly like she were a sibling, a non sexual entity.

"And Gina told me about you" he added.

"Oh so you're wooing me as a favour?" Alicia asked moving back as she didn't want to be a complete charity case.

"No, you see I'm her manager. She talks about you in passing a few times. This is not a set up but if it were I would have been upfront from the beginning" he assured her.

"Oh ok" Alicia said with a smile, she didn't quite believe him but then she was just supposed to be having fun. It wasn't she was going to marry the guy.

"Trust me, I don't need someone to help me in the dating department" he said, Alicia chuckled like he was telling a joke.

"I'm sure you just beat them off with a stick" Alicia added, she found his comment a little off putting. Maybe she was out of her league with him.

"No, not really but I'm a man who knows what he likes in a woman and if I see her I make her know she is the one I want." He said as he looked at her with open interest. Alicia suddenly felt like a piece of rare steak in front of a hungry lion.

"Is that so?" Alicia asked drawing out the tension, he smiled at her and looked her head on.

"It is, now may I have this waltz?" he asked, he placed his empty glass on a tray of waiter passing by and held his hand out to her. Alicia smiled and took his hand disposing of her champagne glass on a table on way to the dance floor.

Jake pulled her into his arms in one graceful movement and started to lead her around the dance floor. She had to admit he smooth on his feet but he was not as captivating as her dance with Taylor at that ball so long ago had been. She squashed the thought and focused her attention on the 'now' and Jake. A handsome man who was currently wooing her, he was definitely not for forever but for right now she knew he would fit the bill for night for some harmless entertainment. She also knew that she was going home alone, while she may feel more confident about herself she was not stupid enough to jump head first into anything with a man until she was good and ready.


	9. Chapter 9

**Present Day, Day Three of Occupation.**

* * *

The hot water cascaded down Alicia's body, prickling her skin as it was really too hot for her to be standing under. But she didn't care, she needed to feel the burn, to feel the comfort from the heat and because it would melt the dirt and blood off her skin faster than if it were cold.

Her skin was felt tender, the burns she had gotten from standing in the sun for over a day had been healed but it would still take a weak for her body to fully recover from the exposure and considering she had drunk herself stupid and not hydrated with water she was probably lucky her kidneys hadn't given up on her. But the IV of fluids would help and she had begrudgingly come to the conclusion that if Taylor were alive she needed to sober up. She needed to gain intel on what was happening in the colony and she couldn't do that completely plastered. But she would have to keep up some appearances.

She picked up the soap from the top of the shower wall frame and sudded up her body, methodically washing away the filth of two days. She didn't know when or if she'd be able to enjoy a long shower like this again. She rinsed the soap off and repeated the routine again before she leaned her hands against the wall and just stood in the shower. She closed her eyes blocking out everything from her mind and just taking note of the water that was slowly starting to cool as the hot water ran out.

She opened her eyes and looked at the wall and her hands. She wished for things to be so different as she needed to desperately to fight, to run away and in that moment she wished she could jump on her bike and go track Taylor down but it would just make her a coward. Running away never solved anything and she had to face the consequences of her decisions. She had to sit at that damn table and do nothing but listen to those around her.

Frustrated she shut off the water and stepped out the shower. She dried herself off with a towel and changed into the scrubs Elisabeth had provided. She then used the hair dryer in the changeroom and quickly dried her hair. She felt better for the shower, as the stench of blood, sweat and booze was no longer offending her senses. It was a marked improvement and she was grateful for it. She laid down on the long bench in the room and closed her eyes taking a moment to rest as she had to wait for her clothes.

* * *

Half an hour later, Alicia returned to her 'pedestal'. The bar was empty with exception of herself, Boylan and his staff who were cleaning and stocking up the bar for the lunch rush of Phoenix soldiers. Lucas usually dropped by to make sure she was in her place and to remind her to 'behave' and to remind her of her failures and how he owned her.

Boylan came up to the table and placed a wine jug and wooden cup in front of her. "You look better" he told her.

"Hot water and banana bag does wonders" Alicia deadpanned. Boylan chuckled.

"Can I get you something to eat?" he asked.

"Sure, whatevers easiest" she told him.

"No probs" He replied.

"Thanks" she said.

"You won't be saying that in a moment" he said with a smile. Alicia frowned and watched him walk away. She poured herself a cup and looked down at the cup to find it wasn't wine but a berry juice. Obviously he had decided to cut her off and she knew he was right to do so. The booze didn't help her, in fact it only made her feel worse.

_What I wouldn't give to be where Taylor is right now. At Least he'd be where the fight is_ she thought ruefully as she sipped the juice pretending for the occupants in the room that it was booze. A faint smile quirked her lips as she realised that if Taylor was alive and out in the jungle somewhere. Perhaps she could somehow redeem herself to him by not being completely idle.

"what do you have to smile for?"

"Lucas" Alicia said greeting him.

"You left the bar" he told her.

"Not by choice and I was smiling because I've been a kiddy cup so I don't hurt myself again" she said in a wry tone, she was careful to slur her words and look a little dopey so Lucas would think she was already plastered. He smiled as he sat opposite her at the table. If she had thought she reeked of booze, it was nothing compared to Lucas. She sat back to put some distance between them not because of the smell but just because if she sat any closer to him she might be tempted to snap his neck.

"Poor Lieutenant Washington" he said in a leery manner. He reached for her bottle of 'wine' but she pulled it out of reach.

"Get your own" she told him, she poured out the rest of the jug grateful it was small and downed the contents before Lucas could try to drink it. she didn't need him knowing that she had decided to give up the booze which in some regards was worse than drinking as she would have nothing to salve or drown out her own mind from talking to her, reminding her of her failures.

"I own you-"

"and the whole damn colony which means you can get your own." she told him.

"You are a mean drunk" he told her. Alicia remained silent as she couldn't bothered rising to the bait.

"So how will I punish you for breaking the rules?" he asked her, his eyes skated over her face as he if he were trying to memorise her face. She would almost think he was attracted to her but she thankfully knew his interest in her had nothing to do with sexual attraction. With him it was about power and control.

"I could do as I promised and kill one of my father's soldiers but you're too sloshed to even appreciate the loss. Aren't you?" Lucas asked as he leaned forward and judged her for himself.

"You put me in a bar what do you expect me to do?" she asked, grateful her drunken act was giving someone a reprieve from being executed.

"I expected better, you're supposed to be my father's prized soldier. The crème de la crème and here you are in the cups and looking completely pathetic" he said in a scathing manner, as if she disgusted him for not fighting back and giving him a reason to burn the colony to the ground.

"You made the rules, I follow them because innocent people shouldn't die because of me" Alicia said, she signalled a waiter to refill her drink and to get Lucas his own drink before she looked to him.

"But they have before, what's a couple more now?" he asked.

"If you're so keen on killing someone. Why don't you just pull your gun and shoot me now" she told him. Lucas quirked an eyebrow at her and gave her dare some consideration before he dismissed it. She inwardly smiled as she knew even after 5 years out in the jungle he was still a coward, he may have the brilliant mind but he didn't have the strength to see them through or to trully dirty his hands. No, thats what he had the soldiers for, what he had his sidekick Hooper for. They fought and killed for Lucas so he could sit back and reap the results.

"I would but I still have plans for you" he told her. _Coward..._ she thought as she held his gaze for a moment before looking away, disappointed.

* * *

_TBC- Cya all soon and thank you for the reviews so far!_


	10. Chapter 10

**2133**

* * *

"Oh how are you not married? Those hands are magical" Gina moaned in pure pleasure as Alicia massaged her feet and ankles as pregnancy had made them swollen. For being 7 months pregnant; Gina looked good, she was glowing and her stomach was so large she looked like she was ready burst. Something Gina bemoaned she would be happy to do as she missed being able to see her toes.

"My medical degree has its perks" Alicia said, she kept quiet on how incredibly uncomfortable all of Gina's moaning was making her feel as it sounded like she was going orgasm. It didn't help that Guzman was sitting on the lounge next to Gina watching them.

"I should have married you. Isaac is incredibly judgemental" Gina said in a pouting manner to Alicia who sat on the coffee table. Guzman and Gina's apartment was as big as her place. She didn't envy how they would squeeze their family into the small space but she did envy their happiness. She looked to Guzman with a raised eyebrow and amused expression which he interpreted as her way of asking for explanation.

"The one and only time, she allowed me to touch her feet and I barely touched them before she told me to go get her food" Guzman said feeling it should be noted that he had tried.

"You were judging my feet, not massaging them. You know how I feel about people judging my feet" Gina said to Guzman, he raised his hands in surrender and opened his mouth to defend himself but Alicia cut in before him.

"Your toes are a little weird looking" Alicia said as she looked down at Gina's feet. It made her feel slightly better to know that as gorgeous as Gina was she had weird shaped feet. All a result from wearing pointy toes shoes probably, who really knew or cared.

"Thanks, just ignore them and keep massaging" Gina said as she sunk down lower on the lounge. Alicia chuckled as continued her ministrations and shook her head.

"Can I get you ladies anything?" Guzman asked.

"I'm good" Alicia told him.

"Chocolate Soy shake?" Gina asked him in a hopeful tone. Guzman gave a sigh and nodded.

"Last one for the day. I swear you're going to develop diabetes at the rate you're drinking these shakes" He told her.

"The baby likes them" Gina told him, a smile curved on Alicia's lips as Gina would use any excuse in the book to get what she wanted. Gina even rubbed her stomach to emphasise her point.

"You like them and the baby is just your excuse to indulge" he told her, calling her out on her bluff.

"Mummy and Daddy, please don't fight" Alicia said in a mocking manner. Guzman made a face at her and then kissed Gina's temple before rising from the lounge to make Gina's drink. Gina smiled at her.

"So besides your swollen feet, how are you going?" Alicia asked Gina.

"I feel like I'm growing a baby whale in there" Gina said gesturing to her stomach.

"You're 7 months pregnant and last time I heard it was a human child" Alicia said as she massaged Gina's calf muscle and then down to her ankle and foot.

"Speaking of our human child. Isaac and I wanted to talk to you about something important" Gina said.

"Ok" Alicia said.

"We would like you to be our child's God Mother" Guzman said as he returned and handed a glass of chocolate soy milkshake to Gina.

"Wow, I'd be honoured but should you guys have someone from your family?" Alicia asked. Gina took a sip of her shake and smiled at the delicious flavour it obviously hit the spot as the woman was looking content.

"We wanted people outside of our family and you're the reason we met and so we think you should have an active role in his or her life" Guzman said speaking for himself and Gina who was a little occupied with being spoiled rotten between the chocolate shake and Alicia's massage.

"You do?" Alicia asked them. She was the last person she'd pick to have a god parent.

"Of course, say you'll do it. If it weren't for you, I'd be single and still able to see my ankles. I need to punish you somehow" Gina said returning to the conversation.

"Wow, when you put it like that I'd be honoured" Alicia said dryly.

"Fantastic, now onto another matter. I didn't get your RSVP for my Baby Shower, I assume you're coming" Gina said.

"Of course I am, and I rsvped two weeks ago" Alicia told her.

"Really?" Gina said with a frown.

"Check your Comm. unit records" Alicia told her, Gina placed her shake to the side and pulled her comm. unit from her dress pocket and went through her logs.

"Oh yeah, there it is. You and Ayani are coming together. Excellent. I'm so glad you're coming." Gina said as she read her logs. She turned it off and placed it back into her pocket. "You know how crazy my mother is" Gina said making a face.

"Yeah, I'm looking forward to it" Alicia said with a smile as she enjoyed watching their mother daughter antics.

* * *

18 hours later,

Alicia sat in the waiting room of the emergency room, the place was packed with people worrying about loved ones and others who were all varying degrees of either sick or injured.

This was not how the day was supposed to be happening. They were supposed to be having a baby shower at the Russian Tea Room at the Ritz. They were supposed to be drinking tea and eating food listening to women give Gina advice about the baby and Gina complaining about how she was the size of a whale and how she missed seeing her feet with a brilliant smile on her face.

But it didn't happen that way, Alicia and Ayani had walked to the Hotel from the subway, they had barely made it to the door when an explosion ripped out of the building. Alicia and Ayani had been knocked off their feet.

When Alicia came to she was dazed and disorientated, she couldn't hear anything but a loud ringing in her ears. She was covered in large cuts and scrapes from the glass and debris. Ayani was in much the same condition but she had knocked hard into a street pole and done some bad damage to her shoulder. Ayani held onto the arm of her battered shoulder supporting it. The ringing in Alicia's ears had dissipated slightly but that was all she could hear. She figured she had perforated eardrums, but it was the least of her concerns. She was more concerned for had gotten to her feet and checked on Ayani before she ran into the building to find survivors.

She had never seen so much devastation first hand. Only in simulations and her ER rotation but even in the ER one was removed from the event. It was all about treating the survivors. Being in what remained of the Tea Room, the scene she had entered, the smell of burning flesh, Gina- it was all forever engraved in her memory.

Now, she sat in the emergency room with Ayani staring at her hands, they were covered in blood. Gina's blood. She knew she should go to the Ladies and wash it off but she was afraid she might breakdown and she had to hold it together.

* * *

Taylor came into the ER waiting room with Guzman. The man was beside himself as he had received the call from the ER of the general hospital in the City dome alerting him to his wife's condition and her location. They had seen the news and it was easy to put two and two together, to know that his wife had been in the blast zone of a Secessionist attack.

Taylor had driven him over as the man was distraught. His young pregnant wife was the victim of a terrorist bombing, one of four bombings that had been set off in other Washington state domes. The Secessionists were making their protests in a more violent manner, no longer could they be ignored. Not after today. Guzman was at the welcome desk, demanding the administration assistant to tell him about his wife's condition.

"You have to tell me more than she's in surgery. What is her condition? what about our child?" Guzman said to the woman behind the desk.

"Sir, that is all we have. If you please take a seat we will let you know more when we have more to tell you" She said in a calm and indifferent tone.

"Guz, come on" Taylor said, he didn't need Guzman hauled away by security for becoming too disruptive.

"Nathaniel?" Ayani said from behind him. He frowned and turned to face her. Guzman was forgotten for a moment as he looked at his wife.

"Ayani, what-?" he started to asked but stopped as he saw her arm was in a makeshift sling. Her clothing was torn and slightly singed. It hit him that she was at the Baby shower with Alicia. Tears filled Ayani's eyes as she tried to hold herself together.

"We were running late, I tried to call but the lines were dead" Ayani said, tears filled her eyes and he moved towards her carefully wrapping his arms around her to comfort her.

"Ah careful" she said as he held her a little too tight.

"I'm so sorry. Your arm" he said pulling back. He looked her over again double checking for himself that she was ok and her injuries were only superficial.

"I'll be fine" Ayani assured him, he cupped her face with one hand and nodded.

"Have you seen a Doctor?" he asked her.

"I've been green carded with Alicia" She said as she lifted the card up from where hung around her neck. He touched the card and read the diagnosis _'dislocated shoulder, broken ribs, possible concussion, multiple contusions and skin trauma. 95% survival rate, urgency 20%'_. Urgency was rated on the severity of the injuries, the more injured you were the higher your urgency percentage was and it meant you would see a doctor and be treated sooner.

"Wash is here?" Taylor asked, he hadn't looked for his lieutenant as he was too wrapped up in Ayani. He looked around the crowded room and spotted her sitting with her back against the wall at the far side of the room. She had her head in her hands as she looked down at the floor.

"She needs you" Ayani said in a low voice.

"What happened?" Taylor asked her, he knew what the news told him but that was never reliable.

"We were outside when the bomb went off. Alicia she got off the ground and she checked on me and ran into the building. I don't know what happened inside but when she came out. She was shellshocked, she mumbled something about Gina in the wreckage. That's when Gina was taken into an Ambulance-" Ayani didn't get to finish her sentence when Guzman stepped in.

"Lieutenant found Gina? Was Gina alive? what was her condition?" Guzman asked woman shook her head feeling ambushed by Guzman's questions.

"I don't know, but-" Ayani stopped as Guzman walked away heading towards Alicia. She looked to Taylor "Nathaniel"

"I'm on it" Taylor said as he followed Guzman.

"Lieutenant" Guzman called, Taylor caught up to him just as Guzman stood in front of Alicia. "Wash" Guzman said trying to get her attention but Alicia just looked at the ground. Upon closer inspection, Taylor could now see the extent of Alicia's wounds, she was covered in cuts and bruises. She also had some minor burns but it was hard to tell as she was covered in dried blood. when she didn't reply to him, Guzman grabbed her by the arms pulling her to her feet.

"Snap out of it damnit. Tell me what happened to Gina! is she alive?" Guzman asked. Alicia shrinked his hold and winced in pain. She looked so incredibly fragile it made him want to bundle her up in his arms and hold her. Not the most appropiate response for a commanding officer to have for his subordinate.

"Let her go, Guzman" Taylor said but Guzman was too overwrought with concern for his wife and unborn child. He just ignored Taylor and tightened his hold as Alicia remained silent.

"Answer me" Guzman demanded of her but she just narrowed her eyes and looked at him confused.

"She can't hear you, she's lost her hearing in the explosion" Ayani said the men looked at her and then Alicia. Guzman released his hold on Alicia and she stumbled back. Taylor didn't miss the blood on Guzman's hands. He knew it was from Alicia who just stood there looking out of sorts.

"Wash" Taylor said again but he didn't bother raising his voice as he knew she would be able to read his facial cues. She looked pained and he wasn't sure if it was physical or emotional. She just pointed to her ear and then made hand gesture of 'dead'. He nodded acknowledging her message. She obviously wasn't game to talk in case she spoke too loudly.

Guzman gave an aggravated growl as he wanted answers immediately and Alicia couldn't answer him on the spot. It would take time to communicate and he needed answers to comfort him now. "I'm going to talk to the administrator again" Guzman said.

"Guzman" Taylor said but Guzman didn't listen he just walked away. Once he was out of hearing distance Ayani spoke.

"Nathaniel" Ayani said. Taylor looked to Wash who had dropped her head down into her hands again.

"You said you saw Gina being taken away by the paramedics?" Taylor asked her. Ayani bit her bottom lip and looked away, he knew just by Ayani's hesitation that it wasn't good.

"I don't know but it didn't look good Nathaniel. I don't-" She didn't finish her sentence as he knew she didn't want to say what she thought in case it became a reality. Taylor nodded in understanding and cupped the side of her face gently.

"Ok, stay with Lieutenant Washington. I'm going to order up a driver who will transport you and Alicia back to base for medical treatment. I'll stay here with Guzman, everything will be ok" Taylor told her, Ayani gave a small nod, fervently hoping he was right.


	11. Chapter 11

**2133**

* * *

A few days later, Alicia was pounding the punching bag with hard punches and kicks. She knew her fists would be sore for weeks to come but didn't care she needed to feel the outlet for the pain.

"You should be taking it easy Soldier" Taylor said, he had given Alicia the time off but she had refused to take more than a day. He ordered her off the base but she decided to be a smart ass and do her work at home on her plex. He should chastise her for insubordination but then there was no point, she hadn't spoken back at him and what commander complained about a soldier actually doing their plexwork. None.

"With due respect Commander, I need to kick the shit out of something. Not rest" Alicia said through gritted teeth as she continued her assault on the bag. Taylor circled behind the bag and steadied it for her. Deep concern was etched in his features as he watched her, she was drenched in sweat but had so much grief, fire and anger in her that her energy was endless.

"You were in an bombing-"

"I was grazed by the explosion of the bomb in a Secessionist attack. Minor injuries that were mostly healed" Alicia said, she still had some bruises and scratches but her hearing had been healed completely. Her emotional state was nothing short of a wreck. Her best friend had died, she knew her sergeant despised her for not doing more. He hadn't said as much and nor had she seen him since that day in the ER but she knew he hated her. He would blame her for Gina's death as much as she blamed herself.

"I'm already down a soldier, I don't need you flaking out on me too" Taylor told her, he had been visiting the Hospital daily to check on Guzman and Baby Tasha. The baby was 2 months preterm and incredibly small but she was a fighter and was getting stronger by the day which was a good sign. Guzman didn't need to lose anymore loved ones and he was sure that baby girl was the only reason he was hanging in there. He was still a wreck which expected but he was keeping together unlike his Lieutenant.

"I'm not flaking out" Alicia growled at him. He could see the grief, the heartache she was enduring. He wished he could do something to salve her wounds but it would cross a line. A line he wasn't prepared to cross.

"Wash-" he started but Alicia paused in her assault on the punching bag and looked at him.

"Sir, don't give me a speech about loss and how it is evitable. I already know, that people die and that in my career I'll watch many of my friends and family die. I know Ok?" She said. She started punching the bag again focusing on expelling her energy.

"Have you seen Guzman?" he asked, the question sliced through her like a knife. She stopped and dropped her arms by her side, her breathing heavy from the exertion.

"No" she answered. She was ready to either. She had failed to revive Gina, her death in part was her fault or so she felt. She had given her statement to Police and the Coroner's office but she had not told anyone what happened that day or talked about it. Ayani had tried to talk with her but Alicia couldn't talk about it. It hurt too much, all of it still felt too fresh in her mind. Her father hadn't called her but she assumed he either didn't know or was tied up in. His station as a General tied up a lot of his time nowadays. She also knew that he would not know what to say and anything he'd just give her lecture about life and death. Something she didn't need.

"You should, he needs us Wash. I'm going over to the hospital to see him now. You should come, it'll do you good" he told her.

"I-" She started but he cut her off with a stern look.

"You haven't visited him or the baby yet. Now is the time. Go shower and meet me outside in 10. That is an order" Taylor told her, he released the bag letting it swing as he walked away. Alicia dropped her head and took a deep breath wishing she didn't feel so tied to following his orders.

* * *

"Guzman" Taylor said as he came into the hospital room with Alicia behind him. Guzman was lying back in a chair beside a Perspex box with arm holes in it. It was used to transport babies from the Neo natal care. A monitor was close by and it showed the vitals of the baby. Guzman had his shirt open and tiny baby lying on his chest. A blanket covered the baby from the legs down. At hearing his name Guzman looked up at them.

"Lieutenant, Commander Taylor. Please come in" He said, his features were drawn and he had dark bags under eyes like he hadn't slept at all since Gina's passing. He didn't even get up from the chair but then he probably didn't want to disturb the baby he had on his chest.

"How-" Alicia stopped as she was going to ask how he was and felt it was a stupid question to ask considering he was heartbroken and grieving.

"I'm surviving" he said answering her unspoken question. Alicia took a sharp inhale as her grief threatened to overwhelm her. She tried to muster a smile and failed miserably.

"So Guz, how's little Tasha going?" Taylor asked smoothing over the painful silence in the room. Guzman gave a smile that was a mixture of sadness and joy.

"She's tough, they are going to keep her here for a few more weeks until she is fully developed. Kangaroo care, apparently it's supposed to help us bond" he explained as he gestured to his state and the fact that he didn't get up to greet them properly.

"It also helps the child's development. Keeps them calm" Alicia said unable to stop the flow of information. It was a bad habit she had picked up as Gina always had a million medical questions.

"The doctors said if it weren't for you Wash, little Tasha wouldn't have made it" Taylor said with a kind smile. She knew he was trying to make her feel better but his words hurt her more. Tears filled Alicia's eyes as she didn't want to remember that day. She didn't want to remember how she found Gina near death, how she had performed CPR all in the vain attempt to keep her best friend and her baby alive. In the end, Gina had died but her daughter had survived.

"I- excuse me" Alicia said leaving the room. She couldn't cry in front of her commanding officer. She refused to be so overly feminine and weak in his presence.

Taylor watched Alicia leave the room, and felt like an asshole for pushing her to come. He had hoped in seeing Gina's Daughter that it would somehow ease the pain and grief Alicia was suffering, to know that she had helped in saving a small piece of her best friend would soothe the pain somehow but his plan had backfired.

"I wish I could step away from it all for just a moment" Guzman said in a detached tone, Taylor turned and looked at the young man. He looked so hollowed out by his grief. "I wouldn't wish this on anyone but at least I have a small piece of Gina left to hold onto." He said, he gently touched Tasha's head, the sight was endearing and incredibly heartbreaking at the same time.

* * *

After Alicia had fled the room, she found a quiet place and cried, not able to contain the grief. She felt sick after 20 minutes of crying and pushed herself to stop. She needed to compose herself, and she hated crying. So, she got to her feet and went to the ladies and washed her face. Once she calmed down and her face didn't look like she had been crying too much, she then went in search fo food.

When she found a decent place she came back to Guzman's room with synthesised coffee and pastries. Taylor was absent, Tasha had been placed back into the Neonatal cube and Guzman sat by it watching her. When Alicia came in he looked at her.

"Lieutenant" he said in greeting.

"I'm sorry about earlier" Alicia said to him.

"It's ok" he told her. Alicia shook her head.

"No, it's not. I brought some food and coffee with me." She said as she placed the items on a table by the bed. She wheeled it around so it was closer to Guzman.

"I'm not-" he started but she cut him off.

"Eat Guzman, it's my peace offering for being a selfish bitch" she told him.

"You're not selfish" He told her as he picked up the coffee and then took a sip.

"Oh so I'm a bitch?" Alicia countered.

"Not all the time" he said a faint smile spreading across his lips.

"Where's the Commander?" Alicia asked as she moved to the other side of the neonatal chamber.

"He had to take a phone call" Guzman said.

"So Tasha?" She asked as she looked down at the tiny baby girl.

"Natasha after Gina's Grandmother" Guzman said.

"It's a good name" Alicia told him, not that he needed her approval. Silence lapsed between them, she kept her eyes down at the baby and listened to the air being pumped into the chamber and the soft repetitive beep of the vitals monitor.

"That day" Guzman said breaking the silence, Alicia tensed up "I'm sorry for my behaviour-"

"Don't apologise" she said cutting him off. "You had every right to ask and I would have been no better if our roles were reversed" she told him.

"Still-"

"Nothing, please let's not talk about it."

"Ok, if you want to touch her you can. I'm sure you know the benefits of it." he said.

"You wouldn't mind?" she asked.

"Of course not" Guzman said.

"I'd like that" Alicia said, she pulled up a stool to the neonatal chamber and then washed her hands with antibacterial wash before she opened the arm window and snaked her hand through. She rested her finger lightly in Tasha's hand and watched as the tiny hand grasped her index finger in a strong grip. She gave a surprised laugh at the contact and the strength of that hold. "She's got quite a grip, Guzman" She said in awe, she blinked back tears as she really wanted to congratulate Gina but she was gone.

"Yeah, she does" Guzman said in a soft and proud tone.


	12. Chapter 12

**Present day, Day Three of the Occupation**

* * *

"Is this what you're going to do? Just sit here and get drunk all day while my Dad is lying in the infirmary dying?" Tasha asked scathingly as she sat down opposite Alicia. It was late afternoon and the bar was starting to pick up in trade as more soldiers came in.

Alicia looked up from the table and looked Tasha, every day the girl looked more and more like her mother as she was turning from teenager into a adult woman. She even had some of Gina's personality traits like lacking tact as Alicia knew she didn't learn that from her Father. Guzman was a man of few words and when he spoke he chose his time and words carefully.

"You should go home and stay out of trouble" Alicia told Tasha, the bar was half filled with soldiers and Alicia really needed Tasha to go home before Lucas remembered that Tasha was one of the few people in the colony she cared about.

"You're supposed to keep us safe-" Tasha started.

"I am and I know it's disappointing but sometimes inaction saves more lives." Alicia said as she downed her shot glass of water like it was cheap tequila. She needed Tasha to leave. Lucas had been called away for some emergency. She had no idea what had happened but she hoped no one she knew was killed which was shy she needed Tasha to go. She didn't need Lucas coming back and having his memory triggered, she didn't need him remembering that Tasha was her goddaughter. She knew if he did, he would do something unimaginably cruel to Tasha and Alicia couldn't have that on her conscience.

"You mean yourself" Tasha said scathingly. Alicia took Tasha's snide manner in her stride. She deserved people's disappointment in her inculding Tasha's. It was a had fall from the pedestal people had placed her on. They thought she was perfect, Taylor's right hand woman who could do no wrong and save them all. Yet she had failed them, in the biggest way possible and she was not going to refute it or defend herself. She could make them understand her choices but in the end it was up to them if they ever forgave her.

"And you as well. So please do me a favour as I am your godmother and heed my advice. Keep your head down, don't attract the attention of the soldiers. Go straight home, lock the all the doors and windows tight-" Alicia started but Tasha cut her off.

"And keep my gun close. I know this speech backwards and forwards, Dad told me it for days before Commander Taylor left to meet the 11th Pilgrimage" Tasha told her with the roll of her eyes.

"You forgot the part about the knives." Alicia said teasingly before she grew serious. "So please go. Your father can't lose you. He will recover but in the meantime he needs you to survive this Occupation. I need you to survive this. So please keep safe by laying low and pretending you don't know me. Lucas will come after you if he remembers our affliation. I would give my life for you but it would still not save you from him. So get out of here, please just go" Alicia said in a quiet and pleading tone, Tasha's anger faded as she had never seen Alicia so completely open and honest with her emotions.

She didn't say anything as she was unsure of what to say. So she remained silent and nodded. Alicia watched as she rose from her seat and left the bar. Tasha looked back and Alicia nodded at her as if to say 'go'. Tasha gave a sad smile and turned away continuing out of the bar.

Once Tasha left the bar, Alicia dropped her head into her hands. She closed her eyes, willing her tears to stop burning the backs of her eyes. She could not fail Gina, the woman may be long dead and buried but her daughter was alive and her responsibility to take care of while Guzman was in the infirmary. The only way Alicia could keep her safe was to not draw attention to her. Lucas was a self centred creature, he only had one goal and that was to destroy Taylor's accomplishments and then kill Taylor. Alicia apparently was one of Taylor's 'accomplishments' hence why she was getting special treatment.

She kept her head down and her eyes closed, deciding it was better to pretend she was having a nap. She also had a headache coming on so it was time to rest. Well rest as best as one could sitting at a table in a noisy bar filled with cigar smoke and the rank smell of sweat and booze. After what felt like half hour she slowly dozed off.

When she woke up sometime later, the bar noise was louder and her headache was a full blown migraine, three days of the unending noise and sleeping upright at the table wasn't helping. She downed the last of her water and decided a trip to the bar to get a refill and to toilets would be ideal as she needed a break from sitting down.

So she got up from her table and staggered slightly from unused muscles but knew the soldiers would think she were drunk. Who would be made enough to sit down all day in a bar and not drink. She picked her empty wine jug and moved to the bar. She placed it on the bar bench and waited for Boylan to serve her.

"I heard there is going to be yet another delay thanks to the stupid dinosaurs" a phoenix soldier with blonde hair said to his buddy as they leaned against the bar drinking two stiens of beer.

"Carnotaurs" the other guy said correcting his colleague "and you were lucky you switched with Hall otherwise you'd be dead" he added.

"I know, five dead and that creature snapped the freaking terminus in half with one bite or so I heard." the blonde one said with a wry smile.

"I could think of a few people I'd be happy to experiment with to see what a carnotaur did to them"

"Yeah I could think of a few in this room who I'd serve up to a Dino for dinner" he said the two of them chuckled.

"Yeah me too, hell I'd be happy if Dr Taylor became dino-chow. He's a little off"

"Just a little?" the blonde one scoffed.

"Ok, a lot."

"Wash, again?" Boylan said, Alicia turned her attention to Boylan. Her brain digesting the information about the terminus. It explained why Lucas was called away and hadn't returned and finally something was working for them. With the Terminus down Lucas couldn't bring any more soldiers in.

"Yeah" Alicia told him,

"I'm going to have to cut you off soon" Boylan said playing into his role as Bartender well.

"Seriously? can't you just give me a meal to dilute the booze? Don't cut me off" Alicia whined, she wondered if she pushed her act a little too far as Boylan looked surprised at her performance.

"Hey, barkeep. Her next round in on me" boylan and Alicia looked to the Soldier who spoke to Boylan. It was the blonde soldier. He smiled a leery smile at Alicia and she squashed the urge to walk over and kick him in the groin for even looking at her like he was.

"I don't accept charity kid" She told him in a cold manner. His friend burst out lauging and the blonde soldier blushed at her patronising tone and being addressed as 'kid' but then he only looked to be in his mid twenties.

"Kid, ha you hear that. She called you a kid" His friend said.

"Shut up Keller and excuse me for offering you a drink" He said he turned away and mumbled 'frigid bitch' under his breath but Alicia still heard him. She turned her attention back Boylan.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll collect my next round on the way back" Alicia said to Boylan as she ignored the soldier's comment. Boylan gave her a look of disapproval which she ignored as she moved away from the bar and headed to the restrooms.

* * *

**TBC- Thank you for the reviews :-D and cya all next time...**


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